Call me ess
Mega Fan
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 321
Jersey City, NJ
United States
Monday, January 25, 2010 - 15:26
Call me ess
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Replies for this Forum Topic
Wednesday, January 27,2010
So I woke up at 6:20am n da morning to the sweet sweet sound of Anita Baker. It was eazy to get rid of the morning grogginess of my voice this morning...although my neighbor prob didn't appreciate it! lol
Hopped in da shower to New York New York and was off to work. In a really great mood! Got to the path and saw da po po and was like ....someone musta had a fight getting on the path today! It was barely no pushing or shoving...I just know today is going to a great day!
Good for you...Mail some of that goodness this way..lol
Thursday, January 28. 2010
Hard a hard time sleeping last night...so many things on my mind...I watched the State of The Union and was pleasantly surprise at the fact that it was so respectful and everyone seemed to have respect for what the President had to say ....for the most part. Am feeling like Optimisum is coming back like people are celebrating that they are here and that they have survived. My restlessness can be due to the fact that I wll be turning 27 in a week in a half. Am thinking about my obstacles and how to tackle them. But it still reminds all so difficult. I keep striving to get a pit with the same rocks...and somehow those damn rocks and working to get me out! lol But if I prioritize maybe i can seek a way out...What happened in Haiti was so tragic! and so sudden...makes me take a step back and thank him for my blessings. Some things just are not what they appear to be...am starting to understand more money...more problems.
Friday, January 29,2010
Shabbat Shalom...you know what that means???IT MEANSSSSS Happy Friday in Hebrew ;-D I Happen to be in a extremely good mood today and it feels so sos so so good! lol I got a email from me good friend about some poetry jam in newark.....am thinkin about it....i need to get from the confinement of my home. This diary thing is a real challenge cause i tried so long to actually commit to the daily writing thing...but it would be interesting to see in 2011. My high point will probably be the grammy's or golden globe whatever it is coming on this Sunday.....yes this my life! lol prob clean, sing off-key, and cook a nice juicy steak...rice, and spinach... cause if left to me i would eat mac & cheese 7 days a week! but that is just not healthy. It snowed yesterday morning...it was so generous i thought it would snow all day but it didn't....but that was okay ;-D I feel good about the future....I feel like some more good things are going to happen for me this year. Its always a work in progress...happy weekend fam! Felix la semana! oh I did have that drink for you girl! lol and I will be having another for me tonight....alize passion! lol kids don't try this at home!...or anywhere else if you under 21! lol
remember: Drink Responsibly!
Monday February 01,2010
O K so am waiting for Sunday...SUnday come and am now confused with all the BET Honor commercials saying Monday.....So long story short I missed the Grammy's! AAGHHHH so mad...i hate that...i don't want to see the damn re runs! Me and my man been having some troubles but yesterday...i found myself missing him...cause the truth is..i can't be mad at him. You can't hate someone you absolutely love to death! lol but you can dislike them for a long bit! lol I heard B gave her hubby a shout out said I love you...that gotta be real love! i finally understand the concept of how people stay together for long periods of time. It hard being away from your bo bo. I see that with the military. My baby in the military too fighting all type of crimes but its tough on our relationship. Sometimes u just know...our relationship go through so many highs and lows you would think we on a roll coaster. So am just going do my thing...keep working hard. Being a soldiers woman means being a soldier as well. We aint always right...but you do what you must in the call of duty. I guess that make me a soldier by default!
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2010
Ok so now its FRIDAY!!! It wasn't to bad getting out of bed today...i was very happy this morning! lol The day is going fast which is good cause am otta here come 2:15pm lol I love days...its not bad knowing you get out early on Friday...makes me feel like a half-day at school...remember those! I saw my God-baby last week and was so happy..hes so big now..6 yrs old....its been a long time.
Running into people I have not seen in a while seeminly every other day on facebook! Technology freakin rocks!
The only bad part is my social networking sites have been shut down temporarily.....but other than that am okay...i still can log on here.
Alicia what are you going to start off with......NUMBER 13! HIGHER!!!! HIGHER!! HIGH HIGH HIGH!! i love it!
"That's how strong my love is" I played that song for 8 hours straight....lol when i 1st got the cd!
and love is blind....that is my *ish too...the beat makes me want to revolutionize and light a big head! lol (figuritvely speaking)..or not.
Its a slow start cause am celebrating...still ;-D
but i decided that will stop on feb.15 ...god willing! then the hard work begins...the countdown begins..lol
AM gon tell you a secret...the last castrophe in Haiti made me really feel and appreciate another day...play Like You'll Never See Me Again for full effect!
Love and evolvement to me and all! Enjoy Your Weekend fam...Rock out whatever you do...safely always.
Hi J lol!
Monday Feb 8, 2010
ahhh....3 more days...lol omg and getting old!!! (don't mind me i say this every year!)
How was your weekend??? I hope very good and relaxing. I love when I clean my house....feels so much warmer and brand new.
And a nice bottle of white zinfindel! (classic) watching the game...i must say am not a very big football person but i did catch a lttle sumn...all i know is i should have bet!!!! lol
The commercials was hilarous....i did not catch the doritos one but the one with all the men walking in the field with no pants was FUNNNY!!!
But i keep hearing about this doritos commercial! Maybe its on youtube...everything else is...
Still dealing with Blockage over here! that is so frustrating you have no idea! Anyway Roc on!
o'er and out!
SO the day has come! am 27! Its crazy where did the years go! btw working and hanging out LOL Whew! and the Journey has more rounds then a sweeping stairway. But its all good. Learned a whole lot..at one time i felt i didn't learn dittily squat! Am here, am standing, am soldier and you are too if you reading this ;-D
SO what will be of this year up to God, me, then whatever happens in btw! lol I feel good recieve more love than I have in a long time....my mom called this morning told me she had a cake for me ;-D 7:00am... you know why i feel so special...am a tell you anyway!
I was born in a real blizzard and yesterday God Bless me. Just enough for me to know he was thinking of me and this year is going to be a good year. I know its selfish to think that he did it just for me! But he has moved mountains in my life when I couldn't climb put people that I would dream of in my life as angels! Real talk Thank you Jesus.
Hey Essence. Love reading your (DIARY)!!
Look for email today. I am officialy in NY on MAR the 3rd. Had to wait for Mom to get well and am know comfortable leaving. You are beautiful on the outside but inside you dwells pure, compassion, intelligence, and most importantly a vision for a better tommorow. Godbless
WORLDPEACE
Went to try to retrieve a smile and loss my love letter to you! SO I got to type it ALLLL over again!
WORLD!!! You are the most charming, hanesome, intelligent I have ever had the pleasure of speaking 2! ;-D and...you know what i really love about you....Its that gorgeous heart...that gorgeous heart of yours! ;-D
Thank you and I understand...holla when you get here. God Bless you back to.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
AHHHH so am Back! lol here, Life can be so mysterious and amazing. How are you doing hunny buns? lol You should be in New York today if you're not! The snow I swear looks like that movie...Santa on 34th street...its all big and fluffy and crystal like endlessly pouring from the sky.....u know am a poet but I swear it look just like that! Its a pain in the ass to walk through but other than that its magical.
So I decided to quit show biz!
In pursuit of something that fits me perfectly....I didn't want to accept the calling but it seems I've been that the whole time....I know it sounds confusing but you might understand in a few years. NEVER thought I'd say this...again... NEVER thought I'd say this....Mike Bloomberg aint that bad ;-D God willing his program will save my future. You know since most of my sites are gon now I got to be more creative with my day...so am on this thang like a mad scientist trying to find stuff out....and you would be surprise what those google results would get ya!!! ;-D For real!
So a couple of weeks ago I sneaked out and bought the Sade album... (gotta say I LOVE ALICIA KEYS) I DO but.....that album is kinda rocking.....;-D (both albums) am i cheating if i listen to sade too??? i love you tho! ;-D jus in case...
Safe trip, I hope you got your ashes before you left.
Wednesday February 17, 2010
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
thats how good I feel today. I feel superb, HA!
Woke up this morning....stayed in bed after the alarm went off like 20 minutes before. AHHHH still was early for work. Got to the "terrible path" Saw some ministers got blessed all on my forehead with the cross ;-D! right before I got on the train...if that is not a good sign I don't know WhAT IS! Cause not for nothing....the pushing alone and the bad breathe is enough to make you want to kill someone....BUT GUESSS WHAT the po po was there...they didn't have to go hard today....Today is going to be a good day!
May God cont..2 Bless you!!!!
Monday February 22, 2010
Dear, Reader
HI! Alright so I just wanted to be number one here what wrong with that!!!! GrUUUUUR lol
I hope you enjoyed your weekend and continue to have a blessed week! I had a lot of great convosations about decorating....I got to be the worst person to do those things...you have no idea how long it took me to find my personal style..its still ever changing! gotta go got some free lasanga....no wonder i can't lose no weight these nice kind hearted people keep feeding me *hehe* HAHAHAHAHA
Wednesday March 3, 2010
Boy do I hate these emotions! lol Sometimes I wonder if we were just computers and could be program....i wonder if life would be better or worst! lol ;-D
So my soldier came home and left not to long ago. He has been in this life so long that I should be use to him leaving but I still got to prep myself each time he goes away. You deal with two things in this case...that is.... He's leaving ! Then you ask is he coming back?
Both very stressful.
Did you know that if 2 people are in the same house even if they don't talk that much and do their own thing there are still 2 people in the house???
But if one person decides to leave the absence is felt! yep...well that is the way it is. ;-D So that is what I been dealing with. I wasn't even in the house when he left this time...I didn't want to say bye. I said bye afterthefact.
But I guess that is the way things go. If he was with me all the time would I value him as much as I do now?....You know when you force to deal with time and can't afford to take it for granted Alica Keys "Like You'll Never See Me Again"
Its like that, :sigh: *puts another bar on the wall to make 5 and crosses* ...doing time.
Friday March 5, 2010
AM so happy, Not so much about the material things or weight loss, or even because am just a gorgeous ole gyal! lol
Am happy because am finally seeing a llittle something without my eyes. And finally listening and learning something. It was very intense at first realizing that the roughest of my mistakes have come from mis-placed blame and lack of looking ahead as much as jumping off the cliff without looking. Its the smallest things that make me feel good like if am talking to someone that I respect and I share their vision without asking a question...that means am on the right track and that my love is the best feeling of all!
I was talking to my sister who is amazing! She got a way of breaking things down that is so understandable. We was talking about relationships with significant others and God. I never realized how crucial the realtionship with God can effect a relationship. Some people seek outside attention from outside people...looking for what they already have in their partner. ONe thing about that is, when that man/woman takes that chance and realizes that the grass is brown they come runnnninng back to that healthy glowing green grass faster than nobody business lol!
Anyway, the point is this. Some people need not seek outside attention and won't cause they have a such a strong relationship with God. In building that relationship you realize much with talking with him in trying to handle the one man/woman you already got. He either gon tell you let it go...or stick it out ....sticking it out though means that somehow that other partner will build upon his/her own personal relationship with God . In doing so that... relationship heals and becomes stronger and better.
I use to think that people ran out on their relationships for physical reasons only...but thats not just it. Sometimes you can have someone doing what needs to be done but the partner is more concern about what wants to be done!
That don't work, When the need outweighs the demand its bettter than when the demand outweights the need.
I was listening to this song 2 weekends ago...and it just centered about "hold on to your love and how its so easy to let go..."and it is. Think about how many times you wanted to throw in the towel in the sight of confrontation or disagreement. Thank God for the internet age where we can write eachother and reread things for better understanding right? ! I feel the same way some times but then I turn on the Mary and she says " Then I think about it and it could be worst" lol aint that the truth!
Monday March 8th 2010
Wait a minute wasn't just January!!! lol
WHAT HAPPEN???
haha!
Gosh man Monique won the Oscar man! She still opening doors! I tried to watch it to the end but ended up falling asleep. I did however catch her speech this morning, It was just so sincered I knew she meant those words from her heart and it is so nice to hear she is married to her best friend....people can say what they want but I understand Monique...and I say Go Girl! Cause I wouldn't leave my boo because of no hoe neither. I beat that ***with a bat. lol!
My weekend was cool didn't do nothing outside out the norm except laundry lol. I gotta get out tho' suffering from party withdrawal!
Am going go out...For real! lol Its just that am one of those girls that gotta to have the whole package when i go out...i can't go out with less than a $100 (I know it sounds petty) A new oufit, A new hairstyle, new boots! lol Atleast when I party.lol
I probably sound pretty shallow but that is the way it is. Am sure there some more girls like me! lol!
FRIDAY MARCH 12, 2011
THANK YOU JESUS FOR BLESSING ME WITH INTELLIGENCE, INGSIGHT, UNDERSTANDING, AND FORESIGHT.
YOU ARE THE REASON AM HERE AND YOU ARE THE REASON I WILL KEEP GOING.
YOU ARE THE BEGINNING AND YOU ARE THE END.
THANK YOU FOR WAKING ME UP THIS MORNING AND THANK YOU FOR MY HEALTH FAMILY, AND FRIENDS. I PRAY YOU WILL KEEP BLESSING THEM
THANKS AGAIN IN JESUS NAME I PRAY...IN THE BLOOD OF YOUR HOLY SON...
AMEN
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
It took me a long time to see that I can't make people like me or that I can't change nobody but myself....and it took me a long time to be okay with that.... ;-D but after some tests of time and phoney ass friends.....am alrite! lol
sometimes its not about proving or talking so much as it is about sitting back and watching and observing....am I growing....Yes I am! Yes we are!
Enjoy your day!
I've always been a R&B chick but some rappers have some wisdom in their lyrics...check it out
Biggie:
"Seven: this rule is so underrated
Keep your family and business completely seperated
Money and blood don't mix like two dicks and no b****
Find yourself in serious s***"
"Number three: never trust no-bo-dy
Your moms'll set that ass up, properly gassed up
Hoodie to mask up, s***, for that fast buck
she be layin in the bushes to light that ass up"
"It's my nigga Pop from the barbershop
Told me he was in the gamblin spot, and heard the intricate plot
of niggaz wanna stick me like flypaper neighbor
Slow down love, please chill, drop the caper
Remember them niggaz from the hill up in Brownsville?
That you rolled dice wit, smoked the blunts and got nice wit
Yeah my nigga Fame up in Prospect
Nah they're my niggaz nah love wouldn't disrespect
I didn't say them, they schooled me to some niggaz
that you knew from back when, when you was clockin minor figures
Now they heard you blowin up like nitro
And they wanna stick the knife through your windpipe slow"
Jay Z
"Jay z
"I'm still hear mon frerre
you know the cost i bear
like, thats why they call
you Hov, I'm like yeah
like air
little shots go through me,
wont tear one tissue
no tears no tissue, not an issue
Dont cry for me I peep
these niggahz from deep
By the front row seat even
if you dont speak""
wow...what happen to my post?
c
Hey Essence, Sorry
for not writing. Been having trouble getting on the site cause my new computer does not have flash. Today I,m on a library computer so I can leave a quick message. Just wanted to say thanks for everything once again. I sent you a email telling you about whats been going on in my life. If you get it drop me a line. Miss you and will be in touch soon. PS through NY for like five minutes about a week ago. Going to vermont. Its pretty quiet out here. I'm trying to be invisable until I leave the country. If I can leave next month, I want to focus on setting up the non-profit in a super quiet place where I cant get in trouble.
ONE
donfloats@yahoo.com
It was a tell of Romeo and Juliet tough choices
on movie sets expansive robes, jewelery sets,
yet no freedom to love when love is at its best
campfires and smores hidden within arms in the darkness
protected from taboo scorns
Romeo and Juliet tough choices on movie sets
expansive robes jewlery sets ,
yet no freedom to love when love is at its best
onlookers swear with scarlet letters
surface image keeps it together
despite pains and hardships
Torn between the status quo when everyone thinks for you and tells you no
yet love still manages to flow in between
broken concrete and fists of stone
Hearts of love band together
rain sleet snow any weather
broken apart and left astray
only dear strength of God
makes a better day
Castrated and ripped
missed and dissed
jezebel's deadly kiss
turned into slavery backs
of tree marked whips
send me off to sea
no more tears left to grieve
it would be a benefit
manchild in the promise land
begging please
Left or right
no relief in sight
fighting for life
story of a imporvished life
Love is rare
love is true
love so sweet
sweetest taboo
love vs. hate
only you can choose
lives within me and you
only if you want it too
who knew that true love
would be you
Romeo and Juliet
souls dancing in the night
ever so quiet
for onlooker fright
Romeo and Juliet
laughing in the night
embracing romance
ever so tight
Wander free, free from sight
holding the reminder of love
in memories delight
The 27th post.